Effective Coping with COVID-19

Mid March was the last time I was allowed to see my mother in person. She was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s 12 years ago. She has required 24/hr care for about three years now. Her ALF needs to protect all residents and so visits are limited to behind the sliding glass door.  Initially, I thought “this pandemic will pass,” but it just lingered. The pain of missing my mother is as excruciating as when I found out she had Alzheimer’s all those years ago.  I rely on mindfulness techniques and other positive coping skills to help decrease my own discomfort and anxieties. 

We all are struggling with collective trauma from this pandemic. It is impacting us in different ways. Some have past traumas and others are having present day experiences.Trauma is stored in our bodies and emotions. Just because your life is stable, it doesn’t mean that you are free from past pain. When the world around us becomes chaotic and unpredictable, it mimics the environment of trauma. It’s important to separate present day events from past experiences to be able to gain a healthier perspective of how to respond right now. 

Be kind and considerate to one another, because you never know what some else is going through. Take time to allow yourself to metabolize the painful experiences so that emotion does not get stuck in your body. Discomfort will not last forever, if properly processed. Remember positive self-talk is extremely effective in dealing with external events that are out of our control. For now, my mom is safe and very well taken care of and I am grateful for that.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC,  CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Valentine’s Day = Express Your Love to Those Who Love You

What if Valentine’s day wasn’t just for romantic love? That would definitely change the way it’s marketed in our society. I believe that Valentine’s day should be about those we love whether it’s romantic or non-romantic. Parents, children, friends, everyone in our life who loves us should be celebrated by us on this day. It is human to want to be loved and know that you are loved. However, the romantic part of this day can be accompanied with a lot of pressure. 

Anxious thoughts come over us like a wave such as what to get, what to do, will it be reciprocated, will I get something……. It is always best to be true to yourself. Rejection is part of the process, however; when we are celebrating those who love us the risk of rejection is removed. If you choose to take a risk with someone new in your life try to eliminate all expectations. Trust me, you will be much happier no matter what the outcome. And if the romantic component of this holiday is missing for you this year, celebrate your family, give them a gift expressing your love for them.

One more thing, don’t forget about those who are still struggling with this day in our community as this day is also a reminder of what was lost. If we can love our neighbors a little more intentionally around this time of the year, it may help those who are hurting.  A wave, a smile, a knowing glance could all be expressions of kindness and forms of love.

 Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc.