Effective Coping with COVID-19

Mid March was the last time I was allowed to see my mother in person. She was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s 12 years ago. She has required 24/hr care for about three years now. Her ALF needs to protect all residents and so visits are limited to behind the sliding glass door.  Initially, I thought “this pandemic will pass,” but it just lingered. The pain of missing my mother is as excruciating as when I found out she had Alzheimer’s all those years ago.  I rely on mindfulness techniques and other positive coping skills to help decrease my own discomfort and anxieties. 

We all are struggling with collective trauma from this pandemic. It is impacting us in different ways. Some have past traumas and others are having present day experiences.Trauma is stored in our bodies and emotions. Just because your life is stable, it doesn’t mean that you are free from past pain. When the world around us becomes chaotic and unpredictable, it mimics the environment of trauma. It’s important to separate present day events from past experiences to be able to gain a healthier perspective of how to respond right now. 

Be kind and considerate to one another, because you never know what some else is going through. Take time to allow yourself to metabolize the painful experiences so that emotion does not get stuck in your body. Discomfort will not last forever, if properly processed. Remember positive self-talk is extremely effective in dealing with external events that are out of our control. For now, my mom is safe and very well taken care of and I am grateful for that.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC,  CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc.

A Daughter’s Perspective: Alzheimer’s Disease

Our parents and grandparents are suffering increased diseases related to cognitive dysfunction and memory issues. Leading the way is Alzheimer’s Disease.  Many will have to watch as their parents forget special memories, forget who they are and watch them developmentally break down before they pass on. Alzheimer’s Disease has no set time limit and often the suffering can be prolonged. This is a harsh way to watch someone die.

Alzheimer's is a progressive disease, where dementia symptoms gradually worsen over a number of years and individuals lose the ability to carry on a conversation and respond to their environment. Alzheimer's is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States. https://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_what_is_alzheimers.asp

Research typically highlights the preventative measures one can take to increase their chances of non-development, but there really are no black and white answers to this problem. Someone with Alzheimer’s is cognitively impaired and unable to advocate for themselves. The progression of this disease requires 24/7 care. Loved ones are forced to place their Alzheimer’s family member is housing facilities where they are at the mercy of the owners and staff members.

The family is held hostage by this disease and members are not able to control their loved one’s environmental circumstances. Facility managers may state, “Your loved one with Alzheimer’s is blissfully unaware and not bothered by materialistic circumstances.” Blissful unawareness does not decrease the pain of having to leave their parent, sister, brother, aunt, or uncle behind.

As consumers, we can be diligent about our choices of where to house our loves ones with Alzheimer’s Disease. We can stay involved with visiting them regularly, even if it is brief visits. We can find supportive resources to help us manage our emotional stress. Speaking to someone who can relate to this process can be most helpful when exploring your options.

RACHEL ROWITT, ED.D, LMHC, CAP | GRACE COUNSELING, INC.