Valentine’s Day = Express Your Love to Those Who Love You

What if Valentine’s day wasn’t just for romantic love? That would definitely change the way it’s marketed in our society. I believe that Valentine’s day should be about those we love whether it’s romantic or non-romantic. Parents, children, friends, everyone in our life who loves us should be celebrated by us on this day. It is human to want to be loved and know that you are loved. However, the romantic part of this day can be accompanied with a lot of pressure. 

Anxious thoughts come over us like a wave such as what to get, what to do, will it be reciprocated, will I get something……. It is always best to be true to yourself. Rejection is part of the process, however; when we are celebrating those who love us the risk of rejection is removed. If you choose to take a risk with someone new in your life try to eliminate all expectations. Trust me, you will be much happier no matter what the outcome. And if the romantic component of this holiday is missing for you this year, celebrate your family, give them a gift expressing your love for them.

One more thing, don’t forget about those who are still struggling with this day in our community as this day is also a reminder of what was lost. If we can love our neighbors a little more intentionally around this time of the year, it may help those who are hurting.  A wave, a smile, a knowing glance could all be expressions of kindness and forms of love.

 Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. 

Words Have Power

I went to get coffee one morning before work, and the Dunkin Doughnuts lady handed me my coffee and bagel and said, “here you go beautiful.” I left thinking that was so kind of her to compliment me, but I was skeptical. I wanted to see if she was consistent with her compliments. I went back, but this time not dressed for work, I had rolled straight out of bed. “Hi beautiful, have a nice day.” I thought to myself, thank you, I will have a good day. I went back a third time, and she continued to have positive words of affirmation. Her kindness felt more than just good customer service, it felt genuine.

The power of our words is sometimes overlooked in our everyday communication exchanges. We can use our words to build each other up or tear each other down. There were two non-spoken components that I experienced in my interactions with the Dunkin Doughnuts lady. One, she didn’t know my experience or any hardships that I may be facing in that moment. Her words reminded me of my value when it seemed to be lost in life’s responsibilities. Second, she was giving her compliments for free. She wasn’t looking for something in return for her kindness. It is rare that we encounter this unconditional type of communication with no expectation. This was a nice reminder that our motivation to share words of affirmation should not be self-rewarding.

I decided I should go back and tell this Dunkin Doughnuts lady of the impact her compliments had on me. I wanted to thank her for reminding me of the power of words. Unfortunately, I went back a few weeks later and she was no longer there. One way that I can return her kindness is to pay it forward by using my words of affirmation to help others remember their worth and value.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. | Mental Health Blog in Coral Springs