Courage, Dear Heart

This February 14 will forever be changed for the communities of Parkland and Coral Springs. Counseling is effective for coping with loss, but it does not lessen the permanent pain of losing loved ones. While the Douglas shooting was very prominent in the media, there are several people that will also be dealing with loss for the first time this Valentine’s Day. During this holiday of love, I can’t help but think about losses that I have experienced, and how the loved ones in my family have been adversely impacted.

Life is precious and unpredictable. We make decisions to take care of our mental and physical health; however, somethings cannot be anticipated. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to continue living life without your loved ones. Courage to continue being around family, friends and celebrating events while you know that part of you is still grieving.

For me, courage gives the ability to have faith that it will hurt less over time.  It is also equally as important to be able to talk about the pain of loss and allow yourself to grieve. There is no time limit to grief, and we shouldn’t enforce one, but we should allow the process to unfold as it should. This Valentine’s Day let’s cherish our loved ones that are still present and honor the memory of those whom we have lost.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. | Mental Health Blog in Coral Springs

Can You See the Silver Lining?

Sometimes the silver lining is so far away you can hardly see it. Other times, you question if there is any silver lining at all. As Christians, we are taught Romans 8:28, all things work together for the good..., but do we truly believe this scripture? Intellectually, we can easily apply this verse to our lives as long as our circumstances are non-stressful. Work, friends, occasional arguments seem benign. What about the circumstances that makes us more vulnerable, such as abandonment, disease and/or death?

It is extremely difficult to believe all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, when God is allowing difficult times in our life. Fear can easily eclipse faith and negative thoughts take hold. We ask ourselves, “Why, what is the point, and how could God let this happen?” Fear-based thoughts can lead to depression and then isolation sets in. Eventually, we disconnect from others and God.

Finding a way to maintain faith in the midst of pain seems to be the answer. Prayer, inspirational music and fellowship are a few ways to stay plugged in to God. He will not prevent bad things from happening on earth, but He can help you move through the experience. While all situations may not be good, God promises to work them out for your ultimate benefit. You can place your faith in His promises; know that God will guide you to that silver lining.

Rachel Rowitt Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Self Talk

What do you say to yourself when no one is around? Thoughts have a powerful and influential effect on mood. Self talk is one form of thought that will influence your perception of successes and failures in life.

Our self talk is usually formed by indirect or direct messages received from authority figures in our childhood. For example, a parent who never allowed you to feel accomplished is indirectly telling you that you are not good enough. As a result, you may carry around the ‘I will be worthwhile if (fill in the blank) __________’ lie. Perpetuating these negative messages helps to confirm that you are presently not “ok” and reinforce isolative patterns.

Despite negative self talk, God has already justified and made you worthy in His sight. This is a concept that is easy to intellectually understand, but truly accepting that you are holy and blameless takes practice. One way to begin eliminating negative self talk is to place you significance in Him instead of outside messages or inside self talk.

It is ok to be alone, but in your alone time recognize that you are not your past and don't get caught up in self defeating lies.


Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.