First Responders: A Different Perspective

We often think of firefighter/paramedics as strong, courageous and resourceful. They make a difference in people’s lives whether it’s saving a life, crisis management or just helping a lonely elderly person who has panicked and called them for help. They are pillars of strength offering their kindness, compassion and support when we are going through our traumas.

What we don’t realize is that our trauma has a direct impact on their lives too. While we are so grateful for their presence during our time of need, we rarely think about how they are affected.  Fire Departments usually encounter 2-5 trauma calls during one shift. Each preceding event is as significant as their initial trauma call.  How do you manage the residue from your personal trauma experience? Now, just imagine having to take that trauma with you to the next call. Firefighter/paramedics have bags full of trauma that we don’t notice.  These bags are disguised by their external appearance and our own ideal portrayal of who we think firefighter/paramedics are.

I recently attended a workshop by the Florida Firefighters Safety and Collaborative in Coral Springs, Fl. It was here that I realized just how much more emotional strength than brawn it takes to be a firefighter/paramedic. I listened to stories told by those who exhibited immense courage and commitment to their country. But a first responder’s courage is more than just being willing to run into a burning building, deliver a baby or cut someone out of a car wreck.

Firefighter/paramedics require the courage to share the pain of strangers, the courage to create bonds with their team when away from their families and the courage to seek help to learn how to manage their pain to continue being effective in their profession. Now that I have had this experience, “thank you for your courage” means so much more.

If you are in the helping field please visit this site www.firefightersafety.org and learn how you can attend one of these workshops. It will make a difference in how your treat first responders when they seek your counseling services.


Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. 

Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Let's face it, parenting teenagers can be a thankless job. Often times parents are on the lowest part of the influential totem pole. Teens today seem to have much more emotional and social issues than 20 years ago. There can be many reasons why your teenager is distant, angry and/or anxious. As a parent, it is difficult to watch your teen struggle while they reject any type of assistance or care that you are providing. 

Part of being a parent is understanding when to not push your teen for communication. Too much inquiry pushes them further away and too little sends them a message of not caring. Sometimes a quiet unconditional gesture of love can still be present without words. This skill is not always easy to execute especially when your teen knows how to push your buttons. It is important to make sure there is consistency in discipline and structure in the family expectations. This can help your teen navigate social and emotional changes knowing that home is a safe predictable environment.

If your parent instinct is telling you something more is going on than just the usually teen angst, it probably is. Some teens may need additional support, and most of the time teenagers will listen to anyone but their parents. Finding professional counselors that share the same family morals and values is important because those therapists become an extension of your family.  

At Grace Counseling, Inc. we work with adolescents and families to help teens learn how to effectively navigate stress. We offer specialized small groups for teens who struggle with uncomfortable emotions, disconnection from family members, risky behaviors and procrastination.

Grace Counseling, Inc. | Coral Springs, Fl.

College Bound Tips for Success

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

It has occurred to me that there are not a lot genuine people left in our industry. It seems that what used to be mom and pop business has turned into big money corporations. It has become increasingly difficult to recommend a treatment center, half way house or case management service to my clients. I often wonder if the quality of treatment will be as attentive as the admissions process. 

Some treatment centers build these immaculate buildings that house chaos. Treatment length is based on whether or not the insurance is a good payor. Our clients become slaves to the insurance designated time because otherwise they could not afford the immaculate treatment center. Sometimes clients have to leave abruptly long before rehabilitation has taken place. Medical necessity, documentation and utilization review become the main focus instead of individual care. 

Rather than this just being a vent of frustration, I do offer an alternative perspective. Since most of our clients are insurance dependent, we should see going to treatment as stabilization vs. rehabilitation. Next, before we even refer our clients to these treatment centers, we can engage families and clients about the aftercare plan solidifying the continuity of care. Lastly, speak with the clinical director of the treatment program you choose. Quality of care, good clinical direction and communication standards come from excellent leadership. 

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP 

Grace Counseling, Inc. 

When Do You Stop Helping an Addict?

It is so difficult to know when enough is enough. How do you reduce the guilt of ending assistance to someone who is in need? Many family members of loved ones who are addicts struggle regularly with this very idea.

If the addict has not asked for help, weigh out how you want to support them. The truth is that if you keep helping someone who hasn’t asked for help, then they have no reason to change. Discomfort seems to be a good catalyst for change, and family members of the addict need to be willing to dish out a little discomfort. But then, the following question arises, what if he or she dies?

Sure, death may be one of the results, but recovery can be as well. As the person on the other side of addiction, you may have to take a page out of the addict’s book of risk-taking behavior. While it seems like you are potentially gambling with the death of your loved one, your loved one gambles daily with their own death in active drug addiction.


First, I would suggest finding a professional to learn what boundaries you can put in place to help you loved one become willing to seek help.  Secondly, help when they ask for it, but not before. Lastly, use the Serenity Prayer to help you figure out how to effectively help your loved one.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Forgiveness and Expectations

Forgiveness and expectations are not related; however some people are unable to forgive without expectation. “I can forgive you if you change your ways.” This statement makes forgiveness dependent on the other individual who we can’t control. Essentially, we are building resentment by setting an expectation on forgiveness.

How are we supposed to forgive? Forgiveness is primarily for you, not the individual who has angered you. It does not mean that your feelings are invalid; it means that you can free yourself from resentment and further damage from unresolved anger. The Bible tells us not to sin in our anger, but says nothing about anger being a sin. Anger becomes sinful when we fail to forgive our trespassers.

We must see setting an expectation as separate from forgiving. Setting the expectation is redrawing boundary lines to protect ourselves from repeated offense. It is something we must do apart from the other individual. Expecting them to change before we can forgive is like drowning in the sea while surrounded by lifeboats. Forgiveness is our lifeboat, get on and then decide whether or not you want to stay or sail away.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Intentional Faith

Choosing to trust and have faith in God is intentional. This may be one of the hardest skills to practice in the Christian faith. Onlookers will criticize you for continuing to show faith and trust in God despite horrible tragedy in your life. Do not become upset, they don't understand your relationship with God. 

People have been jaded by religious doctrine that tells them as long as you follow God's law nothing bad will happen to you. This message teaches that God is a puppet Master whose actions totally eclipses the concept of free will. Holding on to a distorted concept of a punishing God will prevent you from seeking Him in the storms of life. Instead, you may blame Him and this will separate you from His peace.

When your heart is broken, when you have to watch as loved ones are in pain, when there is nothing in your control to change or prevent storms; you can pray. We must make the choice to actively participate in our faith. This is especially true when things are happening that are clearly beyond our control.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.