It is difficult to stay positive in the face of adversity. One of the main reasons is because adversity can trigger a vulnerable emotion. Many times we don’t recognize when we are feeling vulnerable because we have mastered coping through detachment. But there are those days that too many triggers happen back to back, which can lead to vulnerable emotions such as sadness, anger, and despair. Typically these types of emotions come with negative thoughts such as I am not good enough, this is never going to end and I should have done it differently.
How do you know when you are vulnerable? One thing that I can tell you is that you will most likely notice changes in your body first. It can show up in a variety of ways such as sudden stomach cramps, tension in your neck and shoulders, sweating, or your eyes well up with tears. You may think that this has come upon you out of nowhere; however, if you think about those times, I am certain that you got bombarded with triggers that led to a vulnerable state. And our body never forgets those times when you have felt the same discomfort in the past, which only compounds what you feel in the present.
Learning how to recognize when you are vulnerable is important because it helps us figure out how to positively manage our emotions rather than dismiss them. Second, by validating how we are feeling in the moment, we can respond better, decreasing our chances of becoming defensive, aggressive or dismissive in our thoughts and actions towards ourselves and others. Lastly, it helps us to reframe interactions that may have been less painful if we weren't already in a vulnerable state.
Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. | Mental Health Blog in Parkland and Coral Springs
