Effective Coping with COVID-19

Mid March was the last time I was allowed to see my mother in person. She was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s 12 years ago. She has required 24/hr care for about three years now. Her ALF needs to protect all residents and so visits are limited to behind the sliding glass door.  Initially, I thought “this pandemic will pass,” but it just lingered. The pain of missing my mother is as excruciating as when I found out she had Alzheimer’s all those years ago.  I rely on mindfulness techniques and other positive coping skills to help decrease my own discomfort and anxieties. 

We all are struggling with collective trauma from this pandemic. It is impacting us in different ways. Some have past traumas and others are having present day experiences.Trauma is stored in our bodies and emotions. Just because your life is stable, it doesn’t mean that you are free from past pain. When the world around us becomes chaotic and unpredictable, it mimics the environment of trauma. It’s important to separate present day events from past experiences to be able to gain a healthier perspective of how to respond right now. 

Be kind and considerate to one another, because you never know what some else is going through. Take time to allow yourself to metabolize the painful experiences so that emotion does not get stuck in your body. Discomfort will not last forever, if properly processed. Remember positive self-talk is extremely effective in dealing with external events that are out of our control. For now, my mom is safe and very well taken care of and I am grateful for that.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC,  CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Valentine’s Day = Express Your Love to Those Who Love You

What if Valentine’s day wasn’t just for romantic love? That would definitely change the way it’s marketed in our society. I believe that Valentine’s day should be about those we love whether it’s romantic or non-romantic. Parents, children, friends, everyone in our life who loves us should be celebrated by us on this day. It is human to want to be loved and know that you are loved. However, the romantic part of this day can be accompanied with a lot of pressure. 

Anxious thoughts come over us like a wave such as what to get, what to do, will it be reciprocated, will I get something……. It is always best to be true to yourself. Rejection is part of the process, however; when we are celebrating those who love us the risk of rejection is removed. If you choose to take a risk with someone new in your life try to eliminate all expectations. Trust me, you will be much happier no matter what the outcome. And if the romantic component of this holiday is missing for you this year, celebrate your family, give them a gift expressing your love for them.

One more thing, don’t forget about those who are still struggling with this day in our community as this day is also a reminder of what was lost. If we can love our neighbors a little more intentionally around this time of the year, it may help those who are hurting.  A wave, a smile, a knowing glance could all be expressions of kindness and forms of love.

 Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. 

Embracing Vulnerability

It is difficult to stay positive in the face of adversity. One of the main reasons is because adversity can trigger a vulnerable emotion. Many times we don’t recognize when we are feeling vulnerable because we have mastered coping through detachment. But there are those days that too many triggers happen back to back, which can lead to vulnerable emotions such as sadness, anger, and despair. Typically these types of emotions come with negative thoughts such as I am not good enough, this is never going to end and I should have done it differently. 

How do you know when you are vulnerable? One thing that I can tell you is that you will most likely notice changes in your body first. It can show up in a variety of ways such as sudden stomach cramps, tension in your neck and shoulders, sweating, or your eyes well up with tears. You may think that this has come upon you out of nowhere; however, if you think about those times, I am certain that you got bombarded with triggers that led to a vulnerable state. And our body never forgets those times when you have felt the same discomfort in the past, which only compounds what you feel in the present. 

Learning how to recognize when you are vulnerable is important because it helps us figure out how to positively manage our emotions rather than dismiss them. Second, by validating how we are feeling in the moment, we can respond better, decreasing our chances of becoming defensive, aggressive or dismissive in our thoughts and actions towards ourselves and others. Lastly, it helps us to reframe interactions that may have been less painful if we weren't already in a vulnerable state. 

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. | Mental Health Blog in Parkland and Coral Springs  

Words Have Power

I went to get coffee one morning before work, and the Dunkin Doughnuts lady handed me my coffee and bagel and said, “here you go beautiful.” I left thinking that was so kind of her to compliment me, but I was skeptical. I wanted to see if she was consistent with her compliments. I went back, but this time not dressed for work, I had rolled straight out of bed. “Hi beautiful, have a nice day.” I thought to myself, thank you, I will have a good day. I went back a third time, and she continued to have positive words of affirmation. Her kindness felt more than just good customer service, it felt genuine.

The power of our words is sometimes overlooked in our everyday communication exchanges. We can use our words to build each other up or tear each other down. There were two non-spoken components that I experienced in my interactions with the Dunkin Doughnuts lady. One, she didn’t know my experience or any hardships that I may be facing in that moment. Her words reminded me of my value when it seemed to be lost in life’s responsibilities. Second, she was giving her compliments for free. She wasn’t looking for something in return for her kindness. It is rare that we encounter this unconditional type of communication with no expectation. This was a nice reminder that our motivation to share words of affirmation should not be self-rewarding.

I decided I should go back and tell this Dunkin Doughnuts lady of the impact her compliments had on me. I wanted to thank her for reminding me of the power of words. Unfortunately, I went back a few weeks later and she was no longer there. One way that I can return her kindness is to pay it forward by using my words of affirmation to help others remember their worth and value.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. | Mental Health Blog in Coral Springs

Courage, Dear Heart

This February 14 will forever be changed for the communities of Parkland and Coral Springs. Counseling is effective for coping with loss, but it does not lessen the permanent pain of losing loved ones. While the Douglas shooting was very prominent in the media, there are several people that will also be dealing with loss for the first time this Valentine’s Day. During this holiday of love, I can’t help but think about losses that I have experienced, and how the loved ones in my family have been adversely impacted.

Life is precious and unpredictable. We make decisions to take care of our mental and physical health; however, somethings cannot be anticipated. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to continue living life without your loved ones. Courage to continue being around family, friends and celebrating events while you know that part of you is still grieving.

For me, courage gives the ability to have faith that it will hurt less over time.  It is also equally as important to be able to talk about the pain of loss and allow yourself to grieve. There is no time limit to grief, and we shouldn’t enforce one, but we should allow the process to unfold as it should. This Valentine’s Day let’s cherish our loved ones that are still present and honor the memory of those whom we have lost.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. | Mental Health Blog in Coral Springs

A Daughter’s Perspective: Alzheimer’s Disease

Our parents and grandparents are suffering increased diseases related to cognitive dysfunction and memory issues. Leading the way is Alzheimer’s Disease.  Many will have to watch as their parents forget special memories, forget who they are and watch them developmentally break down before they pass on. Alzheimer’s Disease has no set time limit and often the suffering can be prolonged. This is a harsh way to watch someone die.

Alzheimer's is a progressive disease, where dementia symptoms gradually worsen over a number of years and individuals lose the ability to carry on a conversation and respond to their environment. Alzheimer's is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States. https://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_what_is_alzheimers.asp

Research typically highlights the preventative measures one can take to increase their chances of non-development, but there really are no black and white answers to this problem. Someone with Alzheimer’s is cognitively impaired and unable to advocate for themselves. The progression of this disease requires 24/7 care. Loved ones are forced to place their Alzheimer’s family member is housing facilities where they are at the mercy of the owners and staff members.

The family is held hostage by this disease and members are not able to control their loved one’s environmental circumstances. Facility managers may state, “Your loved one with Alzheimer’s is blissfully unaware and not bothered by materialistic circumstances.” Blissful unawareness does not decrease the pain of having to leave their parent, sister, brother, aunt, or uncle behind.

As consumers, we can be diligent about our choices of where to house our loves ones with Alzheimer’s Disease. We can stay involved with visiting them regularly, even if it is brief visits. We can find supportive resources to help us manage our emotional stress. Speaking to someone who can relate to this process can be most helpful when exploring your options.

RACHEL ROWITT, ED.D, LMHC, CAP | GRACE COUNSELING, INC.

When Things Aren’t Working Out

Have you ever questioned if believing in Jesus was working out for you? When problems seem manageable, it is easy to believe “all things work together for the good,” Romans 8:28. Prayer and faith applies easily when the problem is mildly impacting you. Believing in Jesus seems to be an easy decision however this should not be a casual bond.

Sometimes God throws us a curve ball which leads us to question, why this is happening and haven’t I been through enough? Some people lose their loved ones too soon to death and disease, some lose financial stability while others may lose their mental health. Nevertheless, as Christians we are taught that God is with us through our difficult times. If we just have a casual bond with God then this statement is not believable.

We must stand firm in our faith in order to see silver linings. This means practicing believing, Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen”.  When our emotional state attempts to make us believe that God doesn’t care, that’s the time that we need to be more intentional with our decision to continue trusting Him.    

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP

Grace Counseling, Inc.

First Responders: A Different Perspective

We often think of firefighter/paramedics as strong, courageous and resourceful. They make a difference in people’s lives whether it’s saving a life, crisis management or just helping a lonely elderly person who has panicked and called them for help. They are pillars of strength offering their kindness, compassion and support when we are going through our traumas.

What we don’t realize is that our trauma has a direct impact on their lives too. While we are so grateful for their presence during our time of need, we rarely think about how they are affected.  Fire Departments usually encounter 2-5 trauma calls during one shift. Each preceding event is as significant as their initial trauma call.  How do you manage the residue from your personal trauma experience? Now, just imagine having to take that trauma with you to the next call. Firefighter/paramedics have bags full of trauma that we don’t notice.  These bags are disguised by their external appearance and our own ideal portrayal of who we think firefighter/paramedics are.

I recently attended a workshop by the Florida Firefighters Safety and Collaborative in Coral Springs, Fl. It was here that I realized just how much more emotional strength than brawn it takes to be a firefighter/paramedic. I listened to stories told by those who exhibited immense courage and commitment to their country. But a first responder’s courage is more than just being willing to run into a burning building, deliver a baby or cut someone out of a car wreck.

Firefighter/paramedics require the courage to share the pain of strangers, the courage to create bonds with their team when away from their families and the courage to seek help to learn how to manage their pain to continue being effective in their profession. Now that I have had this experience, “thank you for your courage” means so much more.

If you are in the helping field please visit this site www.firefightersafety.org and learn how you can attend one of these workshops. It will make a difference in how your treat first responders when they seek your counseling services.


Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. 

Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Let's face it, parenting teenagers can be a thankless job. Often times parents are on the lowest part of the influential totem pole. Teens today seem to have much more emotional and social issues than 20 years ago. There can be many reasons why your teenager is distant, angry and/or anxious. As a parent, it is difficult to watch your teen struggle while they reject any type of assistance or care that you are providing. 

Part of being a parent is understanding when to not push your teen for communication. Too much inquiry pushes them further away and too little sends them a message of not caring. Sometimes a quiet unconditional gesture of love can still be present without words. This skill is not always easy to execute especially when your teen knows how to push your buttons. It is important to make sure there is consistency in discipline and structure in the family expectations. This can help your teen navigate social and emotional changes knowing that home is a safe predictable environment.

If your parent instinct is telling you something more is going on than just the usually teen angst, it probably is. Some teens may need additional support, and most of the time teenagers will listen to anyone but their parents. Finding professional counselors that share the same family morals and values is important because those therapists become an extension of your family.  

At Grace Counseling, Inc. we work with adolescents and families to help teens learn how to effectively navigate stress. We offer specialized small groups for teens who struggle with uncomfortable emotions, disconnection from family members, risky behaviors and procrastination.

Grace Counseling, Inc. | Coral Springs, Fl.

College Bound Tips for Success

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

It has occurred to me that there are not a lot genuine people left in our industry. It seems that what used to be mom and pop business has turned into big money corporations. It has become increasingly difficult to recommend a treatment center, half way house or case management service to my clients. I often wonder if the quality of treatment will be as attentive as the admissions process. 

Some treatment centers build these immaculate buildings that house chaos. Treatment length is based on whether or not the insurance is a good payor. Our clients become slaves to the insurance designated time because otherwise they could not afford the immaculate treatment center. Sometimes clients have to leave abruptly long before rehabilitation has taken place. Medical necessity, documentation and utilization review become the main focus instead of individual care. 

Rather than this just being a vent of frustration, I do offer an alternative perspective. Since most of our clients are insurance dependent, we should see going to treatment as stabilization vs. rehabilitation. Next, before we even refer our clients to these treatment centers, we can engage families and clients about the aftercare plan solidifying the continuity of care. Lastly, speak with the clinical director of the treatment program you choose. Quality of care, good clinical direction and communication standards come from excellent leadership. 

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP 

Grace Counseling, Inc. 

When Do You Stop Helping an Addict?

It is so difficult to know when enough is enough. How do you reduce the guilt of ending assistance to someone who is in need? Many family members of loved ones who are addicts struggle regularly with this very idea.

If the addict has not asked for help, weigh out how you want to support them. The truth is that if you keep helping someone who hasn’t asked for help, then they have no reason to change. Discomfort seems to be a good catalyst for change, and family members of the addict need to be willing to dish out a little discomfort. But then, the following question arises, what if he or she dies?

Sure, death may be one of the results, but recovery can be as well. As the person on the other side of addiction, you may have to take a page out of the addict’s book of risk-taking behavior. While it seems like you are potentially gambling with the death of your loved one, your loved one gambles daily with their own death in active drug addiction.


First, I would suggest finding a professional to learn what boundaries you can put in place to help you loved one become willing to seek help.  Secondly, help when they ask for it, but not before. Lastly, use the Serenity Prayer to help you figure out how to effectively help your loved one.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Forgiveness and Expectations

Forgiveness and expectations are not related; however some people are unable to forgive without expectation. “I can forgive you if you change your ways.” This statement makes forgiveness dependent on the other individual who we can’t control. Essentially, we are building resentment by setting an expectation on forgiveness.

How are we supposed to forgive? Forgiveness is primarily for you, not the individual who has angered you. It does not mean that your feelings are invalid; it means that you can free yourself from resentment and further damage from unresolved anger. The Bible tells us not to sin in our anger, but says nothing about anger being a sin. Anger becomes sinful when we fail to forgive our trespassers.

We must see setting an expectation as separate from forgiving. Setting the expectation is redrawing boundary lines to protect ourselves from repeated offense. It is something we must do apart from the other individual. Expecting them to change before we can forgive is like drowning in the sea while surrounded by lifeboats. Forgiveness is our lifeboat, get on and then decide whether or not you want to stay or sail away.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Intentional Faith

Choosing to trust and have faith in God is intentional. This may be one of the hardest skills to practice in the Christian faith. Onlookers will criticize you for continuing to show faith and trust in God despite horrible tragedy in your life. Do not become upset, they don't understand your relationship with God. 

People have been jaded by religious doctrine that tells them as long as you follow God's law nothing bad will happen to you. This message teaches that God is a puppet Master whose actions totally eclipses the concept of free will. Holding on to a distorted concept of a punishing God will prevent you from seeking Him in the storms of life. Instead, you may blame Him and this will separate you from His peace.

When your heart is broken, when you have to watch as loved ones are in pain, when there is nothing in your control to change or prevent storms; you can pray. We must make the choice to actively participate in our faith. This is especially true when things are happening that are clearly beyond our control.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Children of Baby Boomers

It wasn't until my late thirties that I realized my parents aren't going to live forever. Ok, intellectually I knew that one day I would have to live without them, but it wasn't until recently that I felt the emotion behind this thought. Reality takes hold when we watch our parent’s age and fall victim to more diseases then their parents had to face. Times have changed; they used to comment on how baby boomer children are moving back in with their parents unable to make it in the real world. Nobody comments on how the advanced aging process impacts the baby boomer's kids. 

Different types of dementia or physiological disease we assumed only plague people in their late 80's and early 90's are now present in 60's and 70's. People are living longer, so they will also be living longer with certain forms of dementia and other geriatric illnesses. Some of us will watch painfully as we lose our parents 20 years earlier than expected. 

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Getting Rid of Clutter

Recently, I moved and it occurred to me that it is harder to unpack then to pack boxes. Naturally, as a therapist, I make the analogy to unpacking memories, emotions and traumas. It seems that for some it seems easier to stuff and keep things locked up and stashed away as unwanted clutter. In the long run, our boxes overflow and symptoms of depression, anxiety and other associated disorders surface.

As clinicians, we ask our clients to unlock and unburden themselves from the past in order to alleviate symptoms. In my experience, this act of “emptying the box” is sometimes painful and duration is unpredictable. For others, the contents in the box have become part of their identity so they hold on to unwanted distress.

Thankfully with moving, I can throw the unneeded clutter out while I am unpacking. Awareness, acceptance and forgiveness are three concepts that can help to reduce the contents in the proverbial boxes in our minds.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Co-parenting is not just for Divorced Families

It seems that in marriage the co-parenting concept gets overlooked. One parent may differ from the other parent in parenting styles. We parent, for the most part, based upon what was modeled to us or what we want to do differently from the parenting we previously experienced. We all know which parent is the easy mark verses the disciplinarian. 

Children pick up on this difference and will use it to their benefit to get what they want. However, this will ultimately hurt them in the long run. The clashing parenting styles will create an unstable environment at home. Types of behaviors children will display in households with unbalanced parenting may include, lying, anxiety, isolation and mood disturbance. 

Different parenting roles will still exist, but both parents presenting as a united front is part of the foundation for healthy co-parenting. While the intention is to be viewed as one, it is important that both parents are able to exercise their authoritative skills. In order to do this, both parents need to have healthy communication and conflict resolution skills. Additionally, it is important for healthy boundaries to be in place so that a child is not seen as being on the same level as their parents, able to make decisions as if they are equal with their parents.

Following these simple guidelines will produce a consistent message to the children that they are cared for and will inevitably promote a safe supportive family environment in married or divorced families. 

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Social Media and the Perception of Faith

Recently on social media, I have been reading a lot about Christians who are upset about how other Christians are responding to issues that involve sexual abuse and police misconduct. As I read these articles and posted opinions, it occurred to me that there is hypocrisy concerning in their judgment of other Christians.

I am not disputing factual content; I am more concerned with the public judgments of Christians on other Christians. It seems that behavior is being seen as synonymous with faith and both are being judged. Our behavior and faith are not causal, but correlated. Faith should have influence on our behaviors; however, if we were perfect then we wouldn't need a savior.

Romans 3:23 teaches us that we all have our own short comings. It is not up to us to judge someone's heart. Many of us have made mistakes and thankfully God does not use a scale to determine magnitude of our sin. As Christians, we should pray for those who are not behaving in accordance to His Word and encourage repentance.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Radical Acceptance as a Christian

Often we walk around things trying to figure out why or what's the purpose behind events in our lives. To solve the question of “why,” we use our problem solving skills which include rational and logical thinking. However, it is easy to get stuck in “why” when there is no resolution in sight. The truth is when we have faith in God; we really don't need to figure out “why.”

As Christians, we are instructed not to go down the ruminating path of “why.” This is to help prevent us from falling into fear of the unknown and/or into despair concerning issues from the past. Constant questioning can render us stagnant and prevent us from being used to our full potential for God’s glory.

Faith in God for the unknown and unseen, (Hebrews 11:1) is a skill and not a natural event. This type of faith, to me, involves practicing radical acceptance.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Can You See the Silver Lining?

Sometimes the silver lining is so far away you can hardly see it. Other times, you question if there is any silver lining at all. As Christians, we are taught Romans 8:28, all things work together for the good..., but do we truly believe this scripture? Intellectually, we can easily apply this verse to our lives as long as our circumstances are non-stressful. Work, friends, occasional arguments seem benign. What about the circumstances that makes us more vulnerable, such as abandonment, disease and/or death?

It is extremely difficult to believe all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, when God is allowing difficult times in our life. Fear can easily eclipse faith and negative thoughts take hold. We ask ourselves, “Why, what is the point, and how could God let this happen?” Fear-based thoughts can lead to depression and then isolation sets in. Eventually, we disconnect from others and God.

Finding a way to maintain faith in the midst of pain seems to be the answer. Prayer, inspirational music and fellowship are a few ways to stay plugged in to God. He will not prevent bad things from happening on earth, but He can help you move through the experience. While all situations may not be good, God promises to work them out for your ultimate benefit. You can place your faith in His promises; know that God will guide you to that silver lining.

Rachel Rowitt Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc.