College Bound Tips for Success

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

It has occurred to me that there are not a lot genuine people left in our industry. It seems that what used to be mom and pop business has turned into big money corporations. It has become increasingly difficult to recommend a treatment center, half way house or case management service to my clients. I often wonder if the quality of treatment will be as attentive as the admissions process. 

Some treatment centers build these immaculate buildings that house chaos. Treatment length is based on whether or not the insurance is a good payor. Our clients become slaves to the insurance designated time because otherwise they could not afford the immaculate treatment center. Sometimes clients have to leave abruptly long before rehabilitation has taken place. Medical necessity, documentation and utilization review become the main focus instead of individual care. 

Rather than this just being a vent of frustration, I do offer an alternative perspective. Since most of our clients are insurance dependent, we should see going to treatment as stabilization vs. rehabilitation. Next, before we even refer our clients to these treatment centers, we can engage families and clients about the aftercare plan solidifying the continuity of care. Lastly, speak with the clinical director of the treatment program you choose. Quality of care, good clinical direction and communication standards come from excellent leadership. 

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP 

Grace Counseling, Inc. 

When Do You Stop Helping an Addict?

It is so difficult to know when enough is enough. How do you reduce the guilt of ending assistance to someone who is in need? Many family members of loved ones who are addicts struggle regularly with this very idea.

If the addict has not asked for help, weigh out how you want to support them. The truth is that if you keep helping someone who hasn’t asked for help, then they have no reason to change. Discomfort seems to be a good catalyst for change, and family members of the addict need to be willing to dish out a little discomfort. But then, the following question arises, what if he or she dies?

Sure, death may be one of the results, but recovery can be as well. As the person on the other side of addiction, you may have to take a page out of the addict’s book of risk-taking behavior. While it seems like you are potentially gambling with the death of your loved one, your loved one gambles daily with their own death in active drug addiction.


First, I would suggest finding a professional to learn what boundaries you can put in place to help you loved one become willing to seek help.  Secondly, help when they ask for it, but not before. Lastly, use the Serenity Prayer to help you figure out how to effectively help your loved one.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Forgiveness and Expectations

Forgiveness and expectations are not related; however some people are unable to forgive without expectation. “I can forgive you if you change your ways.” This statement makes forgiveness dependent on the other individual who we can’t control. Essentially, we are building resentment by setting an expectation on forgiveness.

How are we supposed to forgive? Forgiveness is primarily for you, not the individual who has angered you. It does not mean that your feelings are invalid; it means that you can free yourself from resentment and further damage from unresolved anger. The Bible tells us not to sin in our anger, but says nothing about anger being a sin. Anger becomes sinful when we fail to forgive our trespassers.

We must see setting an expectation as separate from forgiving. Setting the expectation is redrawing boundary lines to protect ourselves from repeated offense. It is something we must do apart from the other individual. Expecting them to change before we can forgive is like drowning in the sea while surrounded by lifeboats. Forgiveness is our lifeboat, get on and then decide whether or not you want to stay or sail away.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Intentional Faith

Choosing to trust and have faith in God is intentional. This may be one of the hardest skills to practice in the Christian faith. Onlookers will criticize you for continuing to show faith and trust in God despite horrible tragedy in your life. Do not become upset, they don't understand your relationship with God. 

People have been jaded by religious doctrine that tells them as long as you follow God's law nothing bad will happen to you. This message teaches that God is a puppet Master whose actions totally eclipses the concept of free will. Holding on to a distorted concept of a punishing God will prevent you from seeking Him in the storms of life. Instead, you may blame Him and this will separate you from His peace.

When your heart is broken, when you have to watch as loved ones are in pain, when there is nothing in your control to change or prevent storms; you can pray. We must make the choice to actively participate in our faith. This is especially true when things are happening that are clearly beyond our control.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Children of Baby Boomers

It wasn't until my late thirties that I realized my parents aren't going to live forever. Ok, intellectually I knew that one day I would have to live without them, but it wasn't until recently that I felt the emotion behind this thought. Reality takes hold when we watch our parent’s age and fall victim to more diseases then their parents had to face. Times have changed; they used to comment on how baby boomer children are moving back in with their parents unable to make it in the real world. Nobody comments on how the advanced aging process impacts the baby boomer's kids. 

Different types of dementia or physiological disease we assumed only plague people in their late 80's and early 90's are now present in 60's and 70's. People are living longer, so they will also be living longer with certain forms of dementia and other geriatric illnesses. Some of us will watch painfully as we lose our parents 20 years earlier than expected. 

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.

Getting Rid of Clutter

Recently, I moved and it occurred to me that it is harder to unpack then to pack boxes. Naturally, as a therapist, I make the analogy to unpacking memories, emotions and traumas. It seems that for some it seems easier to stuff and keep things locked up and stashed away as unwanted clutter. In the long run, our boxes overflow and symptoms of depression, anxiety and other associated disorders surface.

As clinicians, we ask our clients to unlock and unburden themselves from the past in order to alleviate symptoms. In my experience, this act of “emptying the box” is sometimes painful and duration is unpredictable. For others, the contents in the box have become part of their identity so they hold on to unwanted distress.

Thankfully with moving, I can throw the unneeded clutter out while I am unpacking. Awareness, acceptance and forgiveness are three concepts that can help to reduce the contents in the proverbial boxes in our minds.

Rachel Rowitt | Grace Counseling, Inc.