Words Have Power

I went to get coffee one morning before work, and the Dunkin Doughnuts lady handed me my coffee and bagel and said, “here you go beautiful.” I left thinking that was so kind of her to compliment me, but I was skeptical. I wanted to see if she was consistent with her compliments. I went back, but this time not dressed for work, I had rolled straight out of bed. “Hi beautiful, have a nice day.” I thought to myself, thank you, I will have a good day. I went back a third time, and she continued to have positive words of affirmation. Her kindness felt more than just good customer service, it felt genuine.

The power of our words is sometimes overlooked in our everyday communication exchanges. We can use our words to build each other up or tear each other down. There were two non-spoken components that I experienced in my interactions with the Dunkin Doughnuts lady. One, she didn’t know my experience or any hardships that I may be facing in that moment. Her words reminded me of my value when it seemed to be lost in life’s responsibilities. Second, she was giving her compliments for free. She wasn’t looking for something in return for her kindness. It is rare that we encounter this unconditional type of communication with no expectation. This was a nice reminder that our motivation to share words of affirmation should not be self-rewarding.

I decided I should go back and tell this Dunkin Doughnuts lady of the impact her compliments had on me. I wanted to thank her for reminding me of the power of words. Unfortunately, I went back a few weeks later and she was no longer there. One way that I can return her kindness is to pay it forward by using my words of affirmation to help others remember their worth and value.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. | Mental Health Blog in Coral Springs

Courage, Dear Heart

This February 14 will forever be changed for the communities of Parkland and Coral Springs. Counseling is effective for coping with loss, but it does not lessen the permanent pain of losing loved ones. While the Douglas shooting was very prominent in the media, there are several people that will also be dealing with loss for the first time this Valentine’s Day. During this holiday of love, I can’t help but think about losses that I have experienced, and how the loved ones in my family have been adversely impacted.

Life is precious and unpredictable. We make decisions to take care of our mental and physical health; however, somethings cannot be anticipated. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to continue living life without your loved ones. Courage to continue being around family, friends and celebrating events while you know that part of you is still grieving.

For me, courage gives the ability to have faith that it will hurt less over time.  It is also equally as important to be able to talk about the pain of loss and allow yourself to grieve. There is no time limit to grief, and we shouldn’t enforce one, but we should allow the process to unfold as it should. This Valentine’s Day let’s cherish our loved ones that are still present and honor the memory of those whom we have lost.

Rachel Rowitt, Ed.D., LMHC, CAP | Grace Counseling, Inc. | Mental Health Blog in Coral Springs